Statutory Warning: Reading this blog can be injurious to your health!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Diwali time
Monday, September 28, 2009
I have a dream
You know what is the most difficult task I had as a kid? Ma-papa ka naam roshan karna. It is not an easy task, especially when you hail from a middle class family in
Mom-dad never complained. They had accepted their fate and were pretty OK with it. My teachers never knew my name except when the question was who did the last prank on poor XYZ or who stole that stupid test tube from the Chemistry lab. Padhai
But I guess things do catch up. Lately, I have been getting this recurrent dream where I am failing an examination. More specifically, it is a Hindi exam which somehow is very critical. A point to be noted here is that I studied Hindi only till 8th standard and it had no bearing on my career except the fact that I did worse in the subject I chose instead. When I dream that dream, I know that if I do not clear it, something real bad would happen, I just don’t seem to remember what. I would remember that I am way past 8th standard and I should not really be writing that exam, but I still have to take it. It is getting more vivid and I have even started sweating now, in the dream of course! And then I get up suddenly and then remind myself where I am and what I actually do in the weekdays and that this Hindi exam really is not for real and that I have actually completed my academic education and I don’t have to go back to school. And then I check the time and it always is quarter to 5. Spooky, I say!
Later in the day I find the whole thing very funny. Out of sheer curiosity, I did some research on what this dream might actually mean. Some suggest that I might be having a very low self esteem. LOL, not at all! I don’t have esteem; I have absolute pride in what I am! With all humility and modesty, I know I am the best – super duper bumper best. People around me agree that I am the best in what I do. And you know what I do. Others suggest that I might have a lot of pending work at work which is causing me all worked up in my dreams. But this is nothing new. I always have pending work. I mean that is how I work – aaj kare so kaal kar, kaal kare so parso, itni jaldi kya hai bhaiya jab jeena hai barso. This is my work motto. Nothing has changed at my work place or my relations. I am lagging behind everything – business as usual. Some also suggested that I might be having very high expectations from myself. Really? The biggest expectation I have from myself is to get up at 8:30 AM. Is that too much? Am I being too harsh on myself? :P
So I am curious to know what might be causing this dream. If you know me, any pointers to my situation are welcome. If you don’t know me, then too you can comment on my situation because, you know, I love comments!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Sri Krishna (SRK) Mahima
Friday, August 14, 2009
Freedom Day!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Oui Oui Oui!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Harry Potter and the Half Baked Evince!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Oh Yeah! I got lucky!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Guru Purnima 2009
It was September of 2008 in Dallas. I stepped into the banquet hall of Holiday Inn for my very first Art of Living Part 1 course. It was a very strange feeling. Sitting there waiting for the course to start, I suddenly remembered the crystal merchant in The Alchemist. The crystal merchant had a dream of going to a pilgrimage. But he never sets off because he feels that having the dream is more important than fulfilling it.
And slowly I thought about those last 6 years when I had thought of doing this course. In a certain way, I was doing what the crystal merchant did. I kept on postponing registering for the course. Over these years I had transformed from a happy go lucky, totally carefree (sometimes even careless) engineering student to a very hard(ly) working, utterly frustrated, disillusioned software engineer. The transformation was not sudden but very rapid. And I had no reason to be unhappy. There was no event which was causing me this unhappiness. But everything seemed stressed and the mostly smiling and joking around Anusha had given way to smiling wryly and joking sarcastically Anusha. Anusha was not happy about it at all.
Life after college usually makes you alone, specially if you are at work. You do not have friends with you to joke with. You have to be careful about what you say in office. Your personal life involves going to malls and multiplexes every weekend and cursing inflation and Bollywood, eating out at every opportunity and realizing how much you miss a decent meal, networking a lot in office to climb the corporate ladder and missing those cool college friends. All this was making me wonder, what makes us happy? I was happier with a lot less money and more physically challenged life in college. Trust me people, the result of all this thinking was some strain in every relationship I had. Not that this was the only thing happening to me. Luckily, I had Varsha with me and a few good friends still in touch. And that made every stress worth it. I could just live through. And I can never thank those precious few enough. They were the reason for some of the very good times I had in Pune. Now, I had heard about the AOL course in college. I wanted to do it for I had a curiosity to see what was in it. But for some reason (excuses really) or the other I was not able to. Sometimes I did not have a ride, sometimes I did not have time. By the time I was in Pune, I felt it had become a need for me to do it. And not doing it was causing even more frustration.
But strange are the ways of life. I could finally register for it here in USA when I had just left the thing to fate. Sitting in the banquet hall, I was looking back at those 6 years and wondering if I am dreaming. When Ram officially started the course, I remember saying it to myself. "So Anusha, finally!". And the rest, as they say in AOL, is all mystery.
It has not been a very long time. I am still taking small baby steps in this great path. But I know how much my life has changed. Trust me, I am more alone than I ever was. But I don't feel lonely. I have more work than ever, but I don't feel stressed as I used to, and every week I have a way to revive myself. I sleep less than I used to back in Pune, but my energy levels are much higher. I don't meet as many people as I used to, but I look forward to every human interaction and I smile like I used to as a teenager. And then those small things which just start happening. Miracles, magics, coincidences - call them whatever you want, but they start happening more frequently. Things are just taken care of.
I was bearing life (on second thoughts, it was not that bad) I was going through the motions of life, I am living it now. And you really need to experience that to know what I am saying. Really!
All this because of the grace of Guru. And all I want to do is thank the source and cause of all these changes. Fortunately for me, I can do it on this Guru Purnima. (Thanks RR for helping me overcome my small mind gymnastics). If you can make it to Chicago, please come. If you cannot, wherever you are, thank your Guru. They are just too good. If you think you are yet to find your Guru, keep praying and keep looking. It is just a matter of time.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Trends!
All right. So the voting is on, though the turnout is something like we had in the general elections earlier this year. Or are there only 13 readers of this blog? 13, wow, nice. Though, I came to know about some miscreants who tried to booth capture and have multiple votes. And were brave enough to tell me that! :D
You had such wonderful options for answering why you read this blog. The voting trend so far has been nothing what I thought it would be. The option “Others” got the maximum votes. Except Megha, no one specified what their other reasons are, which makes me wonder even more. If you think by not giving the reason you have given me sleepless nights, then I would say my dear, you are absolutely right! Why not when you have the option? :-O
One might think, based on these votes, that the majority has some other reason to read this blog. But I don’t think majority thinks that. If you group in a slightly different way, you would see that the majority has one of the known reasons to come here. 8 Votes have been for one of the reasons I gave. But the interesting factor comes now. I am seeing that blogger poll gives the vote percentages as well (so kind of them considering my Mathematics abilities) and I will use those. 41% think they have a better reason to come to the blog. 16% think that they visit this blog because they have a bad habit of reading it, 16% think were bribed, 16% think that they were blackmailed and another 16% swear they do not visit at all. Now if we have “Others” in one group (41%) and the “remaining others” (16 + 16 + 16 + 16 = 64%) in another, then, wait, lo and behold, I have had a voter turnout of 64 + 41 = 105%!! :D
Did I complain of a low turnout?? :P
Bade bade deshon mein aisi choti choti baatein hota rehta hain, Senorita! :-)
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Poll
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Korbo Lorbo Harbo Re!!
21 needed off the last over. Kolkata have the clear advantage here. Mashrafe to bowl
| 19.1 | Mashrafe Mortaza to Sharma, (no ball) FOUR, Rohit's taken four of those, full toss on middle, pulled away to the deep square-leg boundary, called a no-ball by the leg umpire as there are only three fielders in the ring, what a slip up, drama right at the death. McCullum isn't happy, but if there were just three inside the circle, the call is a right one. The Kolkata captain is disputing the decision, and continues arguing with the umpire, but the decision's been made. It's a no-ball, that's final. An extra ball conceded. How costly will it prove? |
19.1 Mashrafe Mortaza to Sharma, 1 leg bye, misses out, full just a fraction outside off, moves across to paddle it fine, is it on the pads, just a run
19.2 Mashrafe Mortaza to Venugopal Rao, 1 run, a scare there, full and wide, made room to cream that through the covers, got a thick outside edge that landed on the bounce to third man, just a single
14 off 4
19.3 | Mashrafe Mortaza to Sharma, SIX, meaty, juicy full toss on middle, the worst ball you can bowl under the circumstances, heaved away over midwicket for a massive six, what a timely blow, 8 off 3 now, 115 metres that, one of the biggest of the tournament |
8 needed off 3. Doable, what a slip-up. The ball's lost, and they're getting a replacement. Nice, hard thump that. All's sorted. Here it comes. Rohit's ready to face.
19.4 | Mashrafe Mortaza to Sharma, 1 wide, wide, Mashrafe, what the hell are you doing? Hurls it well wide of the offstump, Rohit lets it go wisely and the umpire frees his arms |
7 off 3
19.4 | Mashrafe Mortaza to Sharma, 2 runs, full and wide, swatted down to long-on, scampers back for the second, Rao runs well to finish the run |
5 off 2
19.5 | Mashrafe Mortaza to Sharma, FOUR, four, four, four, Mashrafe has spoilt it for Kolkata, full and wide, makes room and carts it wide of a diving cover to beat long-off to the boundary |
1 needed off the last ball. Scores level. Can Kolkata salvage a super over here? Here it comes. Hold your seats. A short cover, a short fine
19.6 | Mashrafe Mortaza to Sharma, SIX, it's all over, short on middle, pulls it away well over the fine-leg boundary to seal a thrilling victory, can Kolkata ever win? |
Next year KKR, thoda extra Korbo, bilkul nahi Lorbo aapas mein and thoda to jeetbo re!!
P.S : Last over commentry courtesy Cricinfo.com
Monday, May 11, 2009
Get Inspired!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Kuch Khas Nahi..

Sunday, April 05, 2009
Raat Baaki...
What is worse than getting up at 5:00 AM on a Sunday morning? Well getting up and get to work. And this work does not involve any heavy coding for an unachievable deadline. Nor is it working on a real nasty support issue which needs the mind of Mr. Byomkesh Bakshi to figure out the microscopic bug hidden beneath several layers of complex code. This work at this unearthly hour is waiting on call for 2 hours just to begin testing which would actually take only 10 minutes to complete but which cannot be started unless those people on call tell you to start. Sleepless nights, test of patience and a nasty sense of humor is all IT is about and I am li(o)ving IT!
Kaahe ka loving ji. You know during these moments, I feel the need to go back to my school days. It was the time when sleepless nights meant drinking tea at midnight and going to sleep right after that, with a sense of accomplishment. My tea making skills were developed in those days and at the risk of sounding arrogant I can say that a cup of tea made by yours truly today can keep you tarotaaza for very long hours. During this time I also learned how to overcome every obstacle that would come between me and my sleep. A kilometer long syllabus, an exam deadline and even a strong caffeine shot would not come between me and the love of my life. My mom would be very upset with me. These kitchen sojourns at night were disturbing her annual budget for tea leaves, milk and sugar and were doing no good to my grades which never were of any good anyway, not to mention the disturbances to her sleep and those of our neighbors who would be rudely awakened because of some tea making tools slipping out of my hands and creating havoc!
2 hours 20 minutes and 33 seconds: Still no sign of the green signal to start testing. Which means I am going to continue writing some more.
Hmm. So after some sleepless nights which my folks had to endure because of my preparation for engineering entrance exams, they were very happy to see me off to
2 hours 50 minutes and 57 seconds: No testing yet. And yes it took me 30 minutes and 24 seconds to finish the last paragraph.
Those great and awesome nights finally got over. We all, including and specially my parents, were more surprised than happy when I finally got a job. And once at work, I realized the value of a good night’s sleep. Maan! These companies make you sweat! Ok, I did not sweat because my office was air conditioned (which by the way was a great change in the status of my life after bearing scorching
A few good things happened which you all are aware of if you read the last few posts. My bitterness has definitely reduced, my coffee intake is miniscule (I am an occasional drinker now :P ) but work still keeps me up. The Saturday night sleep is one of the most crucial elements for having a reasonable working week. This Saturday night has been fried to this long awaiting call. So beware my colleagues, clients, customers and managers! We are going to have a hell of a time together. :-)
3 hours 0 minutes 10 seconds: I just dialed in again and there is no sight of testing starting anytime soon. Life, I tell you!!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Q & A
I am back people! Actually I am not back, I am front. You see, I am in front of you, on your computer screen, so technically, I cannot be back. Ok, before you decide to not read further, let me get back (?) to the post.
Well these are some of the questions I have been seeking an answer for. You know, in the loads of free time I get I dare think about these. Why? Well avain. I like to do things which are free of cost. Thinking is free and that is my idea of free thinking. I am convinced of the answers for a few of these questions, I am still seeking answers for a few. You might find them a little silly and you will be right because a lot of people think I am silly. You might find them confusing and you won’t be wrong because heck! I am confused about life. These are not pearls of wisdom because this is no place to seek wisdom. But this works for my life. These are in no particular order. Well, actually they are. They are in the order as they appeared as flashes of light in the tiny space of my small monkey mind.
So go on, read it and be happy!
What is height of confidence?
- Me participating in a handwriting competition and dreaming of winning it.
How to be popular?
- I don’t know. If you are me, you can try cracking jokes or sing or even dance. Notoriety is a type of popularity.
How to kill time?
- Blog. Hey! That was simple.
How to deal with difficult people?
- Just the way you deal with yourself! :-). But that is very difficult!!
Does love exist? (Can you believe I actually thought of this!!)
- Stupid questions deserve no answer. But for the records, the answer is yes. However hard it may seem to believe at times, it does exist.
How to fall in love?
- Ah! You cannot fall in love. I have fallen enough and I am not in love. Not even close.. :-)
One of the biggest paradoxes I heard lately?
- Virtual reality. Or is it an oxymoron (like deafening silence) to stress that reality, as we perceive it, is virtual?
Who is more important - you or me?
- We are important. I strongly believe in it.
How does it feel to be living an unpredictable life?
- Business as usual.
What is the purpose of life?
- You lose the purpose when you seek the purpose. (Err, what did I just say?)
One of the biggest discoveries I made about life?
- To know something is one thing but to understand it is another. And I have no idea what that means.
One of the worst nightmares I ever had?
- Losing friends. And I lost too many of them lately. I wish I could go back and say sorry to them. But I need to move on. Hopefully, our paths will cross again.
One of the biggest joys of life?
- There are many big joys like a great AOL course, good food, nice vacation, time with family and friends. But I realized one more joy. It is the joy of honesty. To be wrong and yet have it in you to accept that as a fact. The terrible pangs can actually give you some pleasure. And I don’t call myself a masochist, I just call myself honest.
Do you get a second chance in life?
- Yes you do. And you keep on getting second chances until you are able to get out of it. Life is not a test. You are not being judged. You are being loved. Someone told me this once upon a time in life and it has been true for me.
How has my life been so far?
- A bed of roses with long stems and thorns intact.