Thursday, November 16, 2006

Sale! Sale! Sale!!

Robert Frost once remarked "The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office." How very true! It just stops. The brain, I mean. I understand that you need to nourish and nurture your brain and it can become a wonderful slave. Well, MY brain is hopeless. I nourish it with 4 cups of coffee and 2 cups of tea daily, but still it won't function. Not the way it is supposed to at least. Forget becoming a slave, I can swear, it is becoming more of a liability with each passing day! Wish there was a way I could get rid of it. Any takers?!? :-)

I can list down all the features which might just want you to have my brain. If not you, your friend maybe. Or maybe you can gift it to your enemy and I can promise, he will loose all capacity to conspire against you.

1. It has not been used much
Yes. I have kept it safe from any kind of wear and tear. Even after seeing 25 winters and 24 summers, my brain has all the capabilities it had when I was born. Nothing has changed much and it looks brand new. It has all the innocence of a child, ahem, and is innocuous. It just cannot think of anything that would make you want to do anything wrong. Infact, you would never ever Do Anything.

2. Mera dimag comupter se bhi tez chalta hai
I am not a Chacha Chaudhari silly. Like any good salesperson, I am promising more and delivering far less. What I actually mean is Mera dimag mere computer se tez chalta hai. You see, my office computer is full of trash. Of the 40 Gb space I have, about 12 Gb is project related stuff. Even though I never get much opportunity to use it, I can't delete it. The remaining space is loaded with stuff that I have copied from my mobile; at least 5-6 Gb of songs, useless downloads from the internet and what not. The result is that, it has become so slow, that it sure would win the world slow cycling championship. And my peanut sized brain can do 2 + 2 faster than my computer. Ha! My computer would not be able to start the calculator in that time!!

3. It is maintenance free!
I promise, you wont have to spend another penny on newspapers, novels, books, jokes, smses.. It understands nothing. :-) They say, Kala Akshar Bhains Barabar. And you try bringing these things close to my brain and it would start hallucinating buffalos all around. You would automatically stay away from these things and I bet you would be saving a lot of hard earned money!

4. Forget the price!*
Well, it is free of cost if you have been a regular reader of my blog. :-) This is the only way I can show my gratitude! You take it, and I promise never to write again. If you are new, still no worries. You read all the posts, comment on each and every one of it and voila! You can have a claim too.

Disclaimer: The brain will be given as a whole. Because of the small size it won't be possible for me to divide it. :-|

* Conditions apply.

24 comments:

Amit said...

i agree to everything that you have said about your brain that is being put on sale........but you forgot one thing that your brain is also a masterpiece as yourself n unique things malfunction if being put in a changed environment......so your brain also needs your body to work.....so its suggested to keep it with you.....n also keep nurturing it till you get another masterpiece same as you where ur brain might work:-)

Cheers

Shobhit said...

There will be takers and there will be takers...I was one of them until I realised that you won't be writing after this transfer(transplant?) happens....
So I pull out;-)

Good stuff again...u end it straight faced....but the readers have a smile.. :-)

Shrijeet said...

yEH HUI na baat..Kya jhango template hai.
Ok so its on sale that too free of cost..hmm.100% discount.I would have taken it just to get a feel how its like having one but i agree with shobhit you wont be able to write then..isliye appki amanat aapke pass.

p.s. Good post once again.Thumbs up!

:-| jindabad!

anusha said...

@amit ji
it was a very complicated comment. Pls show some mercy on my brain..bechara, nanhi si jaan..and i guess that was a very diplomatic way of refusing the offer..Thumbs up!!

@Shobhit
the process (brain transplant that is) is strangely called whole-body transplant. :-| Check this out

Well the offer is negotiable..give it a second thought!


@shrijeet
I was more worried about the template actually..Thanks for liking the new look. But as I said to Shobhit..The offer is negotiable..

Anonymous said...

Saumya
wat can i say yaar... first of all its an amazing blog!! So... U want to sale ur brain...Look there are two points 1. if anusha sale her brain to somebody then anusha will not remain anusha wat she is now. 2. if i buy ur brain i am not able to handle such a brilliant mind, it will get rusted agar mere pass raha to use kerna hi nahi aayega :(.
so plzzz think again yaar itni nainsaafi mat ker apne brain ke saath. nobody has ability to tackle this and use it just like u use it.
so i refuse this offer! sorry boss...

Rohan said...

I am afraid , looking at your abysmally bad offer of sale , i must recommend you an MBA. Here are the few points straight out of the layman's primer on selling

Lesson 1: Irrespective of howsoever bad is your product never reveal its weakness

Lesson 2: When you have to get rid of something, dont do it simply by shouting out loud "koi isko leke jao re" Instead, think of something that which can sell & earn and couple your oringinal thing as a free gift. In your case you can sell your writing skill coupled with your brain as free gift. Would earn a ransom i tell you...

Lesson 3: Do some market research, try finding number of people who are wise enough to want a brain and unwise enough to want your brain. Promote your product to this community. must say, This is something you have done correctly all your readers including me qualify ;-)

Rest of the lessons, you will learn in your MBA as i am learning now. Thats how i was able to sell my brain to the person. The latest on him is he just ran away from Agra Mental Asylum....

varsha said...

hi anusha..
well i m actually having no words to comment on this post.. Well good thing is there are people who would want to buy ur brain because it is not an easy thing to handle it..

keep up the spirits and keep writing

Maverick said...

The blog itself shows the power of your Mind !
Kudos

anusha said...

@saumya
behen aapne aake badi krupa ki..bahut bahut meherbani..offer abhi bhi open hai..jab chaho dimag le lo..

@rohan
hey Bhagwan!! you have learned a lot in NM..badhi sayani batein karne lage ho..will keep in mind your marketing lessons..and you actually sold your brain!!! guru ho aaj se tum!

@Varsha
was it that bad?? no words left? shit man..my company is having a really bad effect on you.."mere dimag ko koi leke jao re!!"

@Maverick
well thanks again for the compliment..keep coming :-)

Maverick Roark said...

Sure ! no need to say that .

UFO said...

I'm interested. Just back from watching Hannibal the Cannibal :D

UFO said...

Ah! No replies. May be you are no more interested in the sale. :(

anusha said...

@UFO

Oh no sir!!..the offer is still open..I hope my brain becomes something of interest to the aliens..I knew homo sapiens could never appreciate it..:-)

UFO said...

Good :)
When can we close the deal. My taste buds are running riot here.
Axons n neurons...Yummmmm!!

anusha said...

@UFO..

anytime.. :-)

UFO said...

Dinner time, Christmas eve :)

Anonymous said...

sale is still on or what

UFO said...

Just one more day to go! :)

UFO said...

Thanks for the sumptious supper mademoiselle.

UFO said...

Now my good writer you can safely change your profile description to Mentally Liberated!!

archie said...

Awesome post..you made me smile thru it :-)

anusha said...

@UFO

The brains all yours...and yes, it feels gr8 being liberated...

@archie
ah!! Thanks a lot..

Keep smiling!
Anusha

B N Sharma said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
B N Sharma said...

interesting post. i hope you are not considering we bloggers brainless, to buy your brain. i would share a joke on this context:

A man tried hard for getting a job, but failed. Frusted, he thought his brain is not working properly. he went to a doctor and asked for thorough testing of his brain.

Doctor said, for this you have to leave your brain for a week. he agreed and gave his brain for testing and repair. Doctor got his brain repaired after thorough diagnosis and waited for the man to return.

months passed but the man did not turn up to claim his brain. the worried doctor started searching in vain. one day he found him near his clinic, and asked him to take his repaired brain.

The man said, No Doctor, i don't need it any more. Doctor said, why, your brain is repaired and now you can get a job.

The main replied, no sir i don't need it as i have got a Sarkari Naukari.

BNSharma