Thursday, April 24, 2008

Worthless Worth.

All right people! It is proved that this is a worthless blog. As per Technorati this is a blog worth $0.00. That the dollar itself is losing worth these days is a different issue altogether and I do not intend to discuss world economy here at any rate. And so you see, I don’t think it really matters if I post here or not. I am too lazy to type and I don’t want to plagiarize on my blog by doing what I do best – CTRL + C & CTRL + V. It is my blog and I don’t wish to post here. Ah! I like making such arrogant statements :-).

Sometimes I really think what is worthwhile after all. Different people have different opinions and I respect that. Well I saw some strange things happen since the last time I posted here. Strange behaviors, strange reactions, strange situations and I admit I have been left a little disturbed with the proceedings. I saw a nice status message somewhere in my gmail contacts “Friendship is priceless”. Nice thought. But how often do we value the priceless? Over last few days, I have seen priceless becoming worthless for so many. Such are times when you get a chance to separate chaff from the grain from your own life. But weeding them out is painful. For, the land nourishes both the grain and the weed the same way. It must pain the land when the weeds need to be removed ruthlessly. People come in your life for reason, season and a lifetime. Yeah I am taapoing shamelessly from a forwarded email. They come and go, people I mean. Some stay. But the problem comes when we want them to stay. We start by holding the hand. Then gripping it hard and then the only thing that is left is the strong pull exerted until it breaks the hand and the relation itself. And what could have been a beautiful memory becomes a sad and ugly face of questions, accusations, allegations and what not.

I let people go. I never stopped anyone from going. Sometimes I move on and then I never look back. Not because I don’t care. But because I don’t think it is worth stopping them or staying in their lives anymore. I must have been a reason or season for them. But what happens when you suddenly encounter your past? It makes me think. And sometimes I wonder – did I do enough for their worth? Should I have done something to stop them - like holding the hand? Was I too reckless and careless? Was there a chance of a lifetime and I blew it up? I don’t know. But I think about it. There always is a maybe. Sometimes this maybe factor is so strong that you almost want it to be true. But maybe is an illusion. And a worthless one. Let bygones be bygones. Move on. But it is not easy. You know, as you start aging, the number of people you will meet will increase and the chances of serious encounters will decrease. Will there be a second chance? And my hopelessly hopeful self says yeah, maybe there will be.

What makes people special? What separates some I, V, S or A from any X, Y, Z? Is it their nature or their behavior towards me? Why do they behave the way they do? Is it because of my nature? Yeah because they are normal, routine people for most of the other people in the world. So you see we make people special in our lives. Inherently they are normal people like everyone in the world with a specific emotional, mental, spiritual level. We give them that special status and then expect them to behave in that special way. They should say those special things to you always. You try extra hard to make them realize how special they are. And then you expect them to acknowledge it everytime. If they don’t because they are in a different state of mind then you start throwing tantrums and then you expect that special person to understand you. What a worthless exercise! We waste our entire lifetimes trying to please people and satisfying our own bloated egos. So, now I promise you I, V, S and A that I will never burden you with my expectations because you guys are special because I made you special in my life. And I have full intentions of keeping this promise unlike my promise of writing regularly. :-)

It has been a good learning time. But the learning was not a pleasant one. Most of them were shocking experiences in my life. Not in my life exactly but you do learn from what happens to lives crisscrossing yours. I have decided to change a few things. Not because it will make me more worthwhile. Because then, maybe it will be easy to deal with the loads of worthlessness within and outside.

One last question to self. Is blogging worth the effort? I don’t know. The day I am sure of the answer, I will quit this world of worthless words.

12 comments:

Amit said...

One of the best blogs u wrote till date.......u can hold a person but you cant hold a relation.....and the person who knows your worth & is worth your presence will never leave or let u go either.

Vishu said...

Hey readers...
Whatever is written in the last comment is perfect... the blog is worth reading... the girl is worth knowing... and trust me the relation is & will be worth holding.... :)
you can be far enough to walk to her... and still close enough to talk to her... :)

Anyways... right now as my mood say... don't discuss serious matter s in words, instead let a song say what I wish to convey.. so PEOPLE here is the link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0zgpMxrMmM

And if you have links to some good music plz post them... :)

Hopefully I've clustered words in the best possible way (if I may)...!!!

Amit said...

just wana say ki this female knows the worth of the people and how to keep her promises as well........want to add that relations are there to live not to be bound....if relation stays and people move on then they might come back cos relation is still there....but if you bound people then they are there and not there as well :-)

Rohan said...

Very nice read.. quite illuminating..
I dont have a special skills as far as people are concerned but I do rem a famous dialogue from DCH... Akshay khanna says..'Friends are like sand..the tighter you want to grab them .. the more they tend to slip..' Its kinda true it seems.. but real difficult to implement.. and another one from OSHO 'In any relationship.. expectations are the root to all problems..'

anusha said...

@Amit ji..

Thanks..Still, I feel, people move on and life move on. Not everyone creates a fuss. I have some friends whose worth I realize more after they are not there..

@ Vishu..

Bhool ja..Nice song..
But it does not work for me that way..Anyway, I am not into Meena Kumari mode.. :-)

Thanks for coming

@ Rohan

You have some of the best PR skills..I mean Personal Relations skills. And I agree expectations can be big problem creators..Infact, it is still all right to have expectations. But there has to be some control over them..Specially in these times when we communicate more over wireless and TCP/IPs..

Shobhit said...

Surprised to find me here?
I don't know what tempted me into reading your blog all of a sudden amidst my internship where I don't have time to breathe. It was a soothing read. Leaves a few questions. But come what may, never stop writing. One of your best!

Shobhit

anusha said...

@ Shobhit...

Yeah buddy..m really surprised to see you here after such a long time..So you finally are in Singapore! Hope you will find some time to look at the place as well...

I don't think there are any answers to certain questions..I don't think I will have an answer to know if blogging is worth the effort..so you can expect to see some or the other post..

I hope you will visit this place even after you get busier with life after IIM..:-)

Ruchi Bhindwale said...

Nice blog :) Well expressed and very true. Pretty much describes how life moves on.

Friendship is indeed priceless, if nourished like a plant. It needs maturity, compromises from both ends to keep it going...

I would agree with you that there is no point lingering on relations just for the sake of formatilites. If people want to be free , set them free. Though you can always give it a try to make things better. Somehow I truly believe true friendship never dies and things do get better :)

PS : Like your panda...

Varsha said...

Yes, I know the last few days/ months have been quite eventful. And you know this is the blog that I read the maximum number of times before commenting on it.
I liked the way you have written it though I am not very sure of whether people have taken it the way u have written it.
But certainly, your posts are not worthless.
On a serious note, hopefully we sail through all ups and downs in life and may our friendship be as strong as that of A and V, forever.
Celebrating everyday of life with u and this friendship, I dont care what the world feels about u or what opinion do people have about me, what I know is u r priceless!

Keep writing :)

anusha said...

@ Ruchi

The relations never end..whether they get better or not..you reach a status quo, a dead end..you may never come back..but they still stay..

Thanks for coming.. :-)

@ Varsha

You can never really convey what you want to.. :)

Some relations would always remain special and I need not tell you what you are for me.. :-)

Keep reading..

UFO said...

Sometimes you let people go and they keep coming back. Serendipity!

Anusha said...

@ UFO

That element of surprise is wonderful..There appears to be an alien connection...