Ek Sitam..

Hi People,

With loads of free time, I keep on doing something or the other. You remember my post last year on Prateek bhai's wedding. I was just seeing some videos and just thought I would post how I tried my best to torture people around. Here is the video with the innermost feelings and amazing discussions people had while I was singing(?). Keep your eyes on the video (and I suggest you mute your speakers!! )

Cheers!!

Lost and Found

Hi people. I am ekdum mast and jhatang and I hope you are doing great as well. I hope you have broken all your resolutions and now all you have to worry about is your job (if you have one), work (you must be really lucky if you have a job and work!) and salary (job, work and salary – you are truly blessed!). All other things to worry about (family, friendship, love etc) are usually taken care of by life itself (provided, of course, you have one!).

As for me, I wrote a real long and serious post today. Then when I finished writing, I read it and realized the horror story I had written. I was shell shocked to read my insights on life and decided not to venture into thinking mode again! So I am back to writing the nonsense I usually do and hope you guys still look for some sense in it.

Talking of senses, how many times it has happened to you that you kept something somewhere and then all your senses fail you at the same time trying to recollect where you kept it. I know you would say often to make me feel not so bad about myself, but deep down I know that you know that I should know that my small sized brain can only do as much.

Haan to sahib, hua yeh ki recently my friend gave me the key for his mailbox as he was going to remain out of town for some time. My job was to go and check his mails regularly. Then I had to come back home, keep the mails in the bag he gave me and safely keep the keys at a designated place. I was so happy with my self for doing this activity every 3rd day and still finding the keys at their spot. I thought I would, finally, make dad proud. Dad, by the way, is an extreme case systematic safekeeping. He keeps everything so systematically that it is completely impossible for him to lose the electricity bill that he paid in March, 1985. Mom has a similar habit, though she is not an extreme case like dad. She maintains the telephone bill copies only since December 1997. The only thing I seem to be sharing with my parents is genes. J

OK, coming back to the key story. I was happy with my achievement until my friend came back and asked for the keys. I went in smiling and came back with a poker face because I could not find the key there. I could imagine the look of disappointment on dad’s, mom’s, uncles’, bhaiyyas’, didis’ and the entire Murthy family’s faces. I swear I could even hear my mom getting mad at me – “Ek kaam diya woh bhi theek se nahi kar sakti”. Sigh! Phir kya tha. Search mission shuru. I searched every nook and corner possible. I searched the shelf stand, bed, behind bed, on the table, under the table, table top, table drawer, behind the wall etc etc. Nahi bhaiyya, mujhe nahi mila. I tried to forget about it hoping that my friend would forget about it too. But that of course did not happen.

But like most of the time it happens with me, God came to my rescue. Varsha was finally able to find it on the table top, where I swear I looked atleast 20 times, while we were searching for my camera charger. Yes she found the charger too. God bless her eyes.

It is not just the keys and chargers I have been forgetting. I have been forgetting some important stuff in life. Like how not to lose temper, how be more regular with the things I want to do and loads of other things which would surely make mom dad proud. But that is how things are!

By the way, time for you guys to congratulate me. I became mausi twice in the last one month! Ek bhanji, ek bhanja! Thank you, thank you! There is lot of joy in seeing your family grow. J

P.S : I am just being told about the arrival of Rohan junior! That makes me mausiji (yes he still wants me to be RT's sis) of 3. Welcome, Rohan Shah Junior!!

I will be back again! Tab tak ke liye - Hum hain rahi pyar ke, phir milenge, chalte chalte..

Year's first!

Here’s wishing all my readers a very warm hello on this chilly day. A very cool hi if you happen to read this from Southern Hemisphere. I hope you all had a wonderful New Year celebration. I hope you are out of your hangovers. I hope you are back to work and rocking your work place sharing sweets and photographs! God, I miss Pune and my office there. 

I can understand how tough it is getting back to work. Well you see, 2nd January has almost become synonymous with 1st July since my school days. I love 31st December, I dread 1st January, unless it is a Friday. I can live with a Thursday too since Friday is hardly a working day. :-) Frankly, as far as I am concerned, it is just a psychological thing. I never work!:-)

Well I had a nice, fast paced last week of 2008. I had taken a week off and we hit the road to Houston. Sometimes you do not think enough before doing something. When you do it, you experience things you never believed you could experience. I won’t talk much on that due to inadequacy of appropriate words in the limited scope of my dictionary :D, but I sure did other things in Houston like eating one delicacy per meal, getting a feel of being “at home”, visiting NASA etc! Then some nice site seeing in Irving, completely unexpected New Year celebrations (we slept at 11:59 pm), a lazy New Year day, a completely wasted trip to the Dallas zoo where all the animals had taken a Winter break, finally waking up to the first hangover of the year today. Like last year, I do not have any resolution intact. Unlike last year, I don’t even remember what my resolutions were. And I wonder why I go through the formality of having them in the first place. 

I have been a little restless about some things over the last few days. Some strange questions and no one seems to have an answer. I guess you have to agonize over them enough before you can even get a glimpse of the answer. Sometimes it is the way you interact with the world in general. The more I think I have improved, the more I am reminded how much of a student I need to be of dear life! Does everyone take that long to understand such basic, humane things or is it me with some real old version of brain which God installed in my system considering me to be a spare part in this world? Why is it so that I find dealing with some specific human beings so difficult? What kind of hypocrisy makes me wish the world forgets everything I do but I cannot make myself forget the mistakes someone made once upon a time? I do not know how to change things even with the honest intentions of changing them. Is intention enough? What is honesty? How can you know that you are honest when you know you are an ignorant fool? Hehe. How can you ever know anything? Each question brings to surface some new questions. And I end up writing a blog. Sigh, too much!

No, I do not expect ready made instant answers. I have seen enough to know that it would not help. As I say often, to know something is one thing, to realize it is another. I also do not blame anyone for my particular state. I know 90% of world population seems to be struggling in one way or the other. You see, I am unique, like everyone else. There will be a time, I hope, when I would be a better human. Till than thanks everyone for bearing with me and my flaws. God bless you!

Let’s talk about something else. Someone recently described my excruciating style of writing in words. She described it as contemporary comic thought provoking. It definitely ensured her lunch for the day. But frankly, I want to read some specific people more often. Of late, I realized that many people around me who were simply fabulous with words, have taken a hiatus or simply stopped writing. Rohan is one of the funniest guys with words. But he thinks he cannot make himself write. I want to send him some roses and tell him “dude, stop kidding and start writing!” Amit ji, who can write real heart wrenching poems, has deleted his blog. Nitu, who is one of the most intellectual persons around me, wrote a post last month after almost 4 months! Varsha is still trying to come up with a poem on a different genre or ras as they say in Hindi. I suggested her to write a poem on ganne ka ras but she looked at me and decided not to talk to me for the rest of the day. Shalabh deleted his blog eons back. Shrijeet who is a complete package (funny, intellectual, hard hitting thinker) is waiting for some fine day to start blogging. Come on guys!! Think about me. I write my own posts and then read them too!! A little variety in my life would hurt none!

So ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, start something new. One thing you might not have done ever. One thing you always wanted to do but never did. Take small steps. Commenting on my blog for example! :D

Finally...

This blog made it to the end of year 2008. This also implies that I made it to the end of 2008 which is exactly what I had in mind when I posted the first post this year. This has been an absolute cracker of all times. One of the richest in terms of experiences. Marked by happiness, routine, pain, drama, melodrama. I met more people in this one year than probably my entire lifetime. This has not been the best year, but this has definitely been one where I had some best learning. There was a desire to have one blog per month posted and I can now say that I could make it. However, I do not think that any of the last 12 posts made much sense except for this. 

Time for a quick recap! 

January – New Year 2008! Had some nice celebrations with Varsha and Ankita. I danced my way to glory much to the annoyance of neighbors and friends alike! Went to trek with Sandeep and saw some of the most beautiful shades of blue. Nice beginning. 

February – The month of love! Another lone Valentine’s Day. Also, realistically speaking, I doubt this situation is going to change in February 2009. But with love, as with life, you never know! 

March – Month of marriages! Highlight of the month was of course, Prateek’s wedding. We have so many fond memories from childhood that just the thought of Prateek getting married made me wonder how quickly time flies. It seems only yesterday when we were playing cricket at my grandmother’s place on a hot summer afternoon. And that same sweet brother embarks on a new journey. And then there was Anjali’s wedding. I was there for hardly a few hours but somewhere deep down within I realized that it was an emotional moment. Anjali has always been a person I respected a lot. Then, I met my college friends after a long time. And I can never forget how I felt when Deepshikha quickly packed my lunch (even the pan!) before I rushed to catch my train. Some friends are for life, even if you don’t meet them often, even if you don’t talk to them often.

April – Deepshikha’s marriage :-)! And some major upheavals in lives that crisscross mine. ‘Why, but why?’ was the question all over. And yes, no answers as expected!

May – Chicken Pox and IPL! I am still living with the marks of CP. The three days when I was alone surviving on Rooh-Afza, IPL and on-phone talks with Amit ji were the toughest 96 hours I endured, personally. For the first time I remember, my ego was beaten to death ;-)! It however, sprang back to life after I had sufficient doses of Nariyal Pani and curd rice! Team Chennai lost in the finals to underdogs Rajasthan Royals and I had a new respect for Mahi! 

June – The toughest month on the whole. This was a hectic, tiring, draining period. It was revealing and I lost more than what I had bargained for. It was life changing as well. I also boarded my first international flight. Saumya, Amruta bhabhi thanks for making it to the airport. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for being able to make it. “Sitting on the lounge, waiting for the flight, I realized that the things you want in life come to you at a cost. And sometimes, you are not willing to pay the price.” This realization still holds true.

July – Travel time! I found beautiful friends in Veethi and Vipul. I found a place to live in US. I visited San Antonio and Houston. I spilled out my frustration to the person who genuinely believed that I will come over it. Still adjusting to my new life in USA, still adjusting to a life without IBM, Pune and Varsha and wowed by the superpower of the world. 

August – Lonely time. Long days without much to do in office, without many people to talk to, without having means to commute, I was practically living my days confined to the 4 walls I just began to call home. Wondering, wondering deep, wondering deeper, trying to make sense of nonsense, I took up cooking!! :-D Ah! It is so much fun. 

September – Month of single, biggest life changing event. I did the Art of Living Basic course. I probably, did not get all my answers, but I saw so many questions melting away. I am glad I did it, I am glad I could do it, I am glad I had people who helped me do it. Kishore mama, Rajju mama, Nidhi, Ila, Shree and last but not the least, Ram – thank you all! You all were instrumental in bringing sanity to my life. 

October – Birthday time, Diwali time. Varsha visited Dallas, Guruji visited Dallas and some of the simplest things I did gave me maximum satisfaction. After a long time, job satisfaction was not in question and I was getting a lot of “work” satisfaction. Paradigm Shift!

November – Thanks giving month and a month of immense thinking and self speculation. I came to know a lot of things about myself. And I found myself praying for Mumbai in Chicago. An intense month in every sense of the word. 

December – Smiles are back! Lot of things have happened already! I bought my car, ipod and electronic keyboard. All these things make me happy :-). Sandeep's birthday was one of the happiest days this year! And I plan to take the last week off and visit a few places this holiday season. Will upload photos soon after.

I am very happy as I write this. I know I am smiling. I am happy I lived this year and more importantly, lived through this year. I am happy I learnt so many lessons, had so many experiences. I am happy I am more aware of things around me and more sensitive to people around me. And finally, I am going to sit back and celebrate this year. 

Also, I am going to free myself from writing a-post-a-month rule. I am going to become my random self again. I am not going to stop writing, but I am not sure how, when and why I would write. I am going to explore this life for another year and just see how it goes from there!! :-)

To all who read this, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year. Take care, but more importantly, have loads and loads of fun!! We all deserve celebration!

Cheers!!

An incomplete post

People, I have been meaning to write something for a very long time this month. I even have a draft ready. But just could not make myself post it. It has been a month of deliberation, travelling, decision making, self analysing, self criticising, wondering, questioning and what not. I wanted to pen all these emotions. But most of all these, this month has been shocking! Shocking to see the pictures of Taj Hotel burning, worrying once again for friends and family in Mumbai and questioning how a human can inflict such terror on another human being?

Frankly, I don't have words to write anything. Salute to the martyrs who died saving lives of so many. And tears for those who lost everything for no mistake of theirs.

Time is the biggest healer, they say. We soon learn to live again inspite of everything. That is the spirit of life which no terrorist can ever wipe.

In the midst of fear, cheers to the fearless. In the midst of anger, cheers to patience. In the midst of hatred, cheers to love. In the midst of death, cheers to life!

Dhoom Dhadam Diwali Time!

Time for a new post! Well actually, time for a post before I again run out of time. It is October which has just a week left of it. The lazy fingers attached to my hands which in turn stick to my torso and get controlled by the small peanut sized brain got into action after I accidently looked into the calendar. I did not want to repeat the September story of posting some crap at the last moment. :-)

October has always been an interesting month for me. A wonderful time with festival after festival, delicacies after delicacies and most importantly, holiday after holiday! All this starts with Gandhi jayanti, then Dussera and finally the grand Diwali which has been my favorite festival since time immemorial. In between there would be other small events like birthdays in the family of those who are the reason why I am on Planet Earth. My mom, dad and I managed to cramp ourselves in October, you see. So this really is a month of family bonding and gelling and all that goes with it.

So dear readers, it is time to go a little down the memory lane. I remember the look on the face of my mother who would be torn between the desires to buy me two dresses for birthday and Diwali, and buying those much needed boutique covers for the diwan. It was by some strange magic that she would accommodate everything – the dresses, the diwan cover without ever compromising the sweets or firecrackers. Then I was in college and how going home for Diwali and coming back would be one huge event. I would take all the books in the shelf in a vain attempt to convince dad that I was actually in Indore for my Engineering. But he could always pick fiction from the non fiction stuff and my fictitious attempt would blow up like one of the Diwali bombs. And then mom, dad and Sandeep would sit for atleast half a day to pack all the Diwali nashta to be taken to hostel. Believe me, the snacks would be sufficient for the entire hostel to last a week!! Finally, opening those neatly stapled bags and sharing the stuff with the gang in hostel is one of the finest memories of my hostel life. There would be a trade of snacks actually. Anusha ke ghar ka chooda for Neha ke ghar ki mathri. Saumya ke ghar ki chakli for Vineeta ke ghar ki papadiyan. And there will be one thing not for barter! The regular readers guessed it right – Mom made Gujiyes!! 

Yes, I had a grand time then. And this is the first time I am away from my parents for Diwali. I wish my family was around. Being in a foreign place on a festival as grand as Diwali is not a very happy thought. But I have some real grand plans for the D-Day. :-) I hope there is a lot to write about that for the next month. 

So what have I been up to? Well I recently did the Art of Living basic course. To say that the course was great or fantastic would be an understatement. All I can say is that it is a wonderful experience and I highly recommend it to one and all – bachhe, boodhe, naujawan - for getting your life into a perspective. If nothing else, you would end up thinking about answering some really important questions about yourself (and you would be amazed that you have never had an answer to them) and bonding with total strangers! GO FOR IT!! 

So people, I accept your heartiest birthday and Diwali wishes. I prefer cash but you can send in kind as well. Feel free with your gifts.. ;-) Sharmane ki koi baat nahi hai.. 

Now here's for my wish. Let there be loads of sweetness in what you say, efficiency in whatever you do, understanding from people in your thoughts and good will in all your intentions. 

And have a wonderful, peaceful and prosperous Diwali.

Just in Time!

Well, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome me once again to the blog which you visit more often than me! And you know very well how deeply obliged I am for your continued efforts to keep the traffic on this blog going. Hai na? So accept my deepest thanks for visiting with anticipation to find a new post and then cursing me royally after not finding one! Let’s keep this love-hate relationship going…

I have religiously followed one blog per month rule till now for this year and I am just in time this month. I have been thinking of my next blog topic for quite sometime now. But nothing clicked. Nothing made the writer in me sit straight up on my new revolving chair or my new sofa in front of the new TV that I recently purchased, spread my legs on the cute new side table and write my heart out. (All the little tidbits of my life covered in one line! Howzzat!! )

I have been going through all sorts of emotions over the last few days. I was really raged, furious, tentative, angered, frustrated about so many things about life in US - for example, excessive use of dim yellow lights to light up rooms. I mean, the only place apt for yellow lights back in mere apne des are the bathrooms, garages and such nooks and spooky corners. There has been another post here which elucidates the readers here about the effects dimly lit rooms have on me. My photon-deprived brain cells lose all ability to function the small little they are capable of doing and I become very much like "jadoo" of Koi Mil Gaya fame crying dhoop dhoop around.

Another thing which really gets on me is the affinity Americans have with sweet. Man, chocolates, ice-creams, doughnuts and what not! Hell, even breakfasts have sweet syrups topped on lavish layers of butter! As if my already spherical shape was not enough to put the footballs, cricket balls and tennis balls of this world to shame! Now my room mate is an Indian who eats lunch like Americans. She is really well versed with the American dietary habits. I get bugged real long and hard by the various cuisines that she prepares. Why the concept of dal chawal never occurred to Americans who invent so many things, I really wonder. Most of these delicacies have names which twist my tongue so much that I find myself unable to enjoy the taste ! So most of the times, I hardly know what I am eating and I wish there was a way to get back to the dal-chawal-sabzi-roti-rasam-dahi diet.

Desis in US develop many new habits. Online shopping is one of them. You never realize when it becomes a compulsive, impulsive disorder and you want to buy everything online – from kindle to card reader – you want them all in your bag! And if you have crossed all the limits on your credit card, you end up doing window shopping on internet day in and day out! And the result is, your friends (whoever has remained of them now) and family start thinking of you as a shopping catalog – iphone kitne ka hai, yaar do you know anything of external hard disks, Anusha didi, aate time mere liye ek 10000 megapixel ka digicam le aana.. :-| These are all real life examples and you can sulk in peace if you have been quoted!

And then all sorts of questions you have of life. Times when you are totally confused about yourself, your life, your significance in the grand scheme of things and what to make of it take most of your thinking time. And you demand answers. It probably is the last remnant of the mid-20s syndrome in me. I think I will be better after this birthday.. ;-) I was having a very good chat with a friend the other day about all these things. And we agreed that life is not all about knowing. Life is about living which we keep on forgetting every now and then.

Khair, life moves on with the calendar. Mine moves on again and it is about time to add another month to my life. This time I am happier and a little more aware of things around me. Maybe I have changed. Maybe I have grown up a bit. Maybe I just do not care enough. Whatever be the case I am still going to continue whining and complaining about things on this blog.

Atleast till this year end!

Next year, no promises! :-)

Des Pardes..

Hello hai ji sabko. I know what you are thinking. Kahan mar gayi manhoos..pichle ki pichle Friday ko post ka kaha tha and the post and Anusha both are nowhere to be seen. Der aaye durust aaye. This is going to be a long one and not as delicious as I thought it would be. I am a bad cook! 

The thing, behnon aur unke bhaiyon, is my company could not tolerate the sight of me any more. They found me totally disgusting and unbearable and decided to be done with me. So they decided to kick me out! They kicked me so hard, that I landed on seat 41A of Delta Airlines flying to New York. The kick was real hard guys. I bounced once at New York and then I found myself in Dallas. (I can already see some hair falling from your head..;-) ). And my ordeal at the passport office, last year, finally became worthwhile. 

Not many people had the belief that I would board an international flight someday. As with almost everything in my life, I was late to fly international, when almost everyone I know in IT is at a stage where they are refusing them. “Chalo, finally!” was the most respectable compliment I received and I am not even thinking about all the other reactions people gave! But I think der gaye durust gaye. I know so many people back in India gave a sigh of relief when I left. (May I add that the sighs helped the jet propel faster!) There was no shed of tear at the airport. Of all my nalaayak friends, only Saumya felt the need to make sure that I am really leaving and she did everything to spoil the senti mood my mom was in. God only knows what would have happened if the entire Mumbai crowd had come to see me off. My mom did wanna cry, guys, honestly. Though, I have a strong suspicion that it was not because I was going saat samandar paar, but because she felt that she lost the race to my manager and could not get me married before my manager decided to send me to US. 

Life was moving at a very frenzy pace after my Chicken Pox recovery. The kick-me-out date was 27th June and I felt that 27th of June, 2008 would never actually arrive. I was rushing places, trying to wrap up the work in office (one jhooth per post is allowed), giving err, ahem, knowledge transfer sessions, seeing off Ankita, packing for US and packing the stuff which I and Varsha called home for almost 2 years. Incidentally, Varsha has left IBM for good and is in US these days for her MS and yes, you guessed it right, her last working day in IBM was 27th June :-). The day finally came, and encouraged by the readers of this blog, I gave the longest farewell speech ever in history! Does standing on two feet for two hours or speaking continuously for that many hours qualify for an Olympic gold? I wish it did! We would have ended up a little upar on the medal tally. 

27th June is a day I am never going to forget my entire life. The last thing that I wanted to do on that date was to board an international flight. Well that it was the last thing I did on that day is a different thing (I had a midnight flight). I wanted to be at a different place, with some of the important relations but I did not even have a phone access. Sitting on the lounge, waiting for the flight, I realized that the things you want in life come to you at a cost. And sometimes, you are not willing to pay the price. I realized in great measure that day, what it means to be with your people, what support systems are, and what so many relations mean to me. 

The flight was interesting, the food was good, the movies on demand were great and New York skyline was amazing! I was hoping a great flight from New York to Dallas as well. But domestic flights in US suck bigtime, people! I was hungry and all I got was a sour juice and 15 peanuts to eat. Thankfully Veethi and Vipul came to receive me. They are a very sweet couple who, luckily for me, stay in Dallas. Veethi is Varsha’s cousin and I realized that some of the sweetest people I ever came to know have their names start with V. 

I miss India a lot. I miss talking to my family and friends at will. I miss the street food I used to have so often, I miss Kailash bhaiyya ki Pani Puri. I miss the beauty of Pune in monsoons, the time I had with my best friend, the get together at CCDs with the Pune crowd. 

The only thing I do not miss is the sight of Indians! They are just way too many!! :-) 

Am I happy being here? 

Apni marzi se kahan apne safar ke hum hain,

Rukh hawaon ka jidhar ka hai, udhar ke hum hain..

About Me..

Hum hain..aur gam hain...

Kuch bhi kaaam nahi hai..

Kuch kaam aata bhi nahi hai..

Log milte rahe..Orkut se judte rahe..

Par ab log profile par aate tak nahi hain..(Thanks to orkut and helpers!)

Baat likhun apne baare mein..

Khayal kuch aate nahi hain..

School gayi kissi sheher mein..

Naam logon ke yaad aate nahi hain..

College bhi gayi kissi aur sheher mein..

Auron ko humare naam ab yaad aate nahi hain..

Padhai kabhi ki nahi, number kam hi aate hain..

Batein ki bahut, dost bade yaad aate hain..

Kai dost bane unke kisse yaad aate hain..

Kai log bichade, kya kya ab yaad aate hain..

Office mein kuch khaas mujhe bhaata nahi hai..

Company ko mere paise yaad aate nahi hain...

To socha blog likhun par koi padhta nahi hai..

Arey ek comment kar do magar koi sunta nahi hai...

Shadi kar lun, ma-papa ko yeh khayal aate hain..

Kabhi ladke humein, kabhi hum ladke ko pasand aate nahi hain..

Life kat rahi hai, sabke duaein saath hain..

Lekin hum hai..par life ke gam jaate nahi hain...

*********

Well I am changing my orkut profile's about me section and I do not want to lose this master creation (ahem) which no one read except those who were lectured, bribed, punished or blackmailed (sam, dam, dand, bhed). So I thought, I would keep it safe and sound and archived on my blog which is the place where all the trash goes..

Now I know, you all are waiting for my next post! Well, the question for me is who all apart form those described in the last para..So if you do happen to read my blog, then, sahibaan, meherbaan, kadradaan, koodadaan or any other type of daan, please wait for a few more days..I have a delicious post coming up which will sure bore you to death! I have been working so hard on it that now I hardly work in office..I have major updates about myself (no, marriage not yet, sigh!) and some blockbuster experiences which sure is going to beat all the Karan Johar dramas of this world..

Tab tak ke liye, read my about me section and pull your hair..Remember, together we can and we will err.. make you go bald!

My achievement on the virtual world

The biggest revealer of all times, undoubtedly, has been google.com. My four long years in this Sensex boasting IT industry would not have been possible without Google. Behind every successful IT engineer is the beautiful and powerful Google search engine. Though the definition of success is different for different people, for me, success is survival. Without the power of Google’s search, my codes would have gone into infinite loops, my dates would not have got formatted, my timestamps would have been non-existent, my String to number and number to string conversions would have been impossible and in short, I would have been doomed! Nahi nahi this post is not a gaurav gatha of Google dev ki mahima. In fact, this post has nothing to do with Google or search engines in general. Who to maine avain itna kuch likh diya. 

Actually, I was doing some random searches on Google the other day. One of the search keywords was “koi fata” (translated literally to “some poor/pathetic joke” in English). Yeah yeah, I know not very intelligent keywords but who said I made intelligent random searches! But, but I was surprised to see the search results. The first URL, ladies and gentlemen, was my own blog!!! This is the only time I think I came first! Khushi ke mare meri ankhein nam ho gayin, gala bhar aaya saab kya bataun bas rone hi wali thi. Now, I come from a family and friends background where people are listed for writing books on problems like Java Memory Leaks (first link when you search Rajeev Palanki, my brother) and such high fidelity stuff. But someone said every family has a black sheep. I am black by my family standards and I am sheepish most of the times. Err ok, that was a fata and it is precisely for such bakwas that this blog is the most popular fata link ever! 

My PJs are lethal, mass destruction weapons. Any one hearing them can completely lose their mental balance. More people around me are suffering from acute hair fall than around anyone else because they start pulling their hair in disgust! But still, even after bearing all the jokes on them, my managers have not kicked me out of the company, my friends have not stopped talking to me, Varsha has not stopped living with me, my family, even though they have more precious and intelligent members, has not disowned me. Aap sabhi ka mujhpe jo upkar hai use kabhi nahi bhulaya jaega. 

But Pjs hold the wisdom of generations and the paradoxes of life - “ek budhiya bachpan mein mar gayi” is a sample. I have had some really interesting and inspiring sessions with people where we have shared numerous PJs and pondered over serious, mind blowing questions like “Why did the other two chipkali fall off the wall when one started singing?”(answer of course is, the other two started clapping.). Such discussion have only added fuel to the inherent talent I had of killing people by singing and passing jokes. Talent or congenital disorder, I leave it upto the reader to decide.

The motivation of starting this blog has come from this ability to have a PJ for almost every occasion. So people, thank you for coming to my blog, patiently reading stuff and making this the most popular fata link. 

God bless you all!!

My chickened days!

Hey, people! I hope this post finds you in excellent, pink health. I, for one, will honestly wish for this because I have recently experienced a phase of not so pink one and I can tell you that it is really a bad thing.

Before you start imagining me in a hospital bed with drip running on each limb and doctors trying frantically to breathe life in me, let me tell you that it was nothing that serious. I just had a special visit by a small virus in my body. The situation is clinically herpes simplex (popularly known as Mataji in this part of the world and Chicken Pox in the rest of the world). After being through this patch for more than 3 weeks now, I can tell you that there is nothing simple about it.

For one there you will be running a very high temperature, there will be a severe headache and your whole body and face will be covered with sores (they are called pundus in Telugu.). The situation becomes bad if you are staying alone and your friend has gone home on vacation and would be coming back only after 3 days. My ordeal with this started on 30^th April when I was all pepped up to enjoy the May Day holiday. But my spirits were dampened because of the sudden temperature. The saddest part was my 250-rupayee ka pizza, ordered for dinner, going down the drain because I was unable to eat. In the morning, unaware of my disease, I got a nice thrashing from my mom for roaming in the summer heat without taking precautions. I was equally unaware and responded by spending the entire day in the sun trying to help her brother with a small thing. Lo ab bolo kya karogi! ;-). I was not doing better in the evening and in the morning; I saw a few pundus here and there and decided to see the doctor. And when she confirmed that, I have been hit by the chicken-virus, I was clueless how to go about it. After all, not everyday you catch a disease that will force you to stay quarantined for God knows how many days and the joy of not going to office for a long time took time to settle. I was excited about spending a lot of time in total ekaant and reflecting about important things in life like what to write next in my blog.

After I came back home, everyone knew that I had chicken pox. It was as if it was broadcasted on all the news channels of the country and Aaj Tak doing a special analysis about the situation as if it were a national crisis. My arrogant self (more popular as my independent self) was sure that I would be able to handle this national crisis on my own and no one, including Mr Prime Minister and my mother, needed to worry about it. But my no-nonsense-tolerating mother had already booked her tickets and was supposed to come down to Pune with Varsha by Sunday. So my ekaant time was reduced from an indefinite period to a couple of days. 

But this couple of days was something that I am going to remember for the rest of my life. I had informed my mangers that their most mehnati, imaandar and intelligent resources would now be required to work extra time and do my work as well since I won’t be coming to office! Though, everyone who reads this blog knows I don’t work, but I liked hearing my managers voice laced with a slight panic. There is a deployment coming and ahem, I am a critical resource for that. I felt wicked! ;-) Chaadar taan ke, palang pe let ke, TV ka remote haath mein rakh ke I was feeling happy as a child. It was as if I was reliving my summer vacations. And I realized that in this age of instant communication, getting out of reach and out of touch is a luxury that chicken pox sufferers can surely enjoy. 

By Friday evening and Saturday morning, I was well covered with pundus all over. They were growing in size and number by each passing hour. IPL kept me entertained, I had few things to eat as I was unable to and I was practically surviving on dosages of Rooh Afza every two hours. In times like these, the maidservants play a very important part. Our house cleaner, Sindhu, had informed in every ghar she works about my beemari and how awful I was looking. Our padosan was very kind to send me a glass of keri ka panha. I had terrified the kid who came to deliver a dabba of rasgullas with my looks and the shop stopped home delivery for a while! Then the aunty from the next block came to visit me. She came looking for Sindhu and suddenly she started babbling something about some health insurance policies. She started explaining me how working girls should take them. Err..Aunty ji, can’t you see the pundus on my face! Can’t you see that all this poor girl cares for is to watch those highlights of the last night’s IPL match and all you care is to sell me a sick health insurance policy! 

But the highlight of my ordeal was Saturday night. I had suffered enough to forget about my arrogant self and all I wanted to see was the sight of my mother and Varsha. And when there was a power failure in the middle of night, I did not know what to do. They definitely were the toughest two hours I had been through and I realized how important bijli is to our lives. Bhaiyya, bijli bachao nahi to tumhare bachche chicken pox mein pareshan ho jaenge. That night taught me a lot more things and I was reminded of the words of a dear friend – You have to go through your pains, alone. There are no proxies.

Finally, my mother and Varsha arrived. And immediately my treatment was started with nariyal paani. I drank nariyal pani for the next 15 days and now I am sure, a test would reveal that all the water content in my body has been replaced with naariyal paani. My mom, an expert caretaker, knew her job well. She fought her enemy with neem leaves, dahi chawal, nariyal pani, mosambi juice all strategically spaced throughout the day. Varsha, the only person who thinks I look beautiful never let me, even for a moment, feel any kind of self pity. 

I am doing well now, recuperating and fighting with the weakness. My vacation is over and my team is happy to seem my face that now has chicken pox marks all over. But I realized how important it is to see those familiar things around. When I was alone, all I wanted to see was the face of my mother and Varsha in that familiar maroon night suit. Aapke apne log hi aapke liye hote hain. Inki qadr karo. Who kehte hain doodh piyo to p lo. Duniya mein koi aur yeh bolne wala nahi milega. Varsha is the only person who thinks I still look beautiful, even with all those pundu marks. Aise dost har koi nahi hota hai. Bahut sahej ke rakho aise doston ko apne paas.

I am fit enough to have my arrogant-self back. Apart from my family which includes Varsha, Amit ji’s and Shrijeet’s mom had special contributions. Thanks auties for telling me so many things about this beemari and about taking the right foods. Thank you Shalabh for helping my mom reach me as soon as she could. Thank you Shrijeet for quickly coordinating things and that wonderful card. And last but not the least, thank you Amit ji, for keeping me company when I was without one. 

The most difficult thing to do is to take care of yourself. Suggestion. Start practicing that!

Stay healthy.

Worthless Worth.

All right people! It is proved that this is a worthless blog. As per Technorati this is a blog worth $0.00. That the dollar itself is losing worth these days is a different issue altogether and I do not intend to discuss world economy here at any rate. And so you see, I don’t think it really matters if I post here or not. I am too lazy to type and I don’t want to plagiarize on my blog by doing what I do best – CTRL + C & CTRL + V. It is my blog and I don’t wish to post here. Ah! I like making such arrogant statements :-).

Sometimes I really think what is worthwhile after all. Different people have different opinions and I respect that. Well I saw some strange things happen since the last time I posted here. Strange behaviors, strange reactions, strange situations and I admit I have been left a little disturbed with the proceedings. I saw a nice status message somewhere in my gmail contacts “Friendship is priceless”. Nice thought. But how often do we value the priceless? Over last few days, I have seen priceless becoming worthless for so many. Such are times when you get a chance to separate chaff from the grain from your own life. But weeding them out is painful. For, the land nourishes both the grain and the weed the same way. It must pain the land when the weeds need to be removed ruthlessly. People come in your life for reason, season and a lifetime. Yeah I am taapoing shamelessly from a forwarded email. They come and go, people I mean. Some stay. But the problem comes when we want them to stay. We start by holding the hand. Then gripping it hard and then the only thing that is left is the strong pull exerted until it breaks the hand and the relation itself. And what could have been a beautiful memory becomes a sad and ugly face of questions, accusations, allegations and what not.

I let people go. I never stopped anyone from going. Sometimes I move on and then I never look back. Not because I don’t care. But because I don’t think it is worth stopping them or staying in their lives anymore. I must have been a reason or season for them. But what happens when you suddenly encounter your past? It makes me think. And sometimes I wonder – did I do enough for their worth? Should I have done something to stop them - like holding the hand? Was I too reckless and careless? Was there a chance of a lifetime and I blew it up? I don’t know. But I think about it. There always is a maybe. Sometimes this maybe factor is so strong that you almost want it to be true. But maybe is an illusion. And a worthless one. Let bygones be bygones. Move on. But it is not easy. You know, as you start aging, the number of people you will meet will increase and the chances of serious encounters will decrease. Will there be a second chance? And my hopelessly hopeful self says yeah, maybe there will be.

What makes people special? What separates some I, V, S or A from any X, Y, Z? Is it their nature or their behavior towards me? Why do they behave the way they do? Is it because of my nature? Yeah because they are normal, routine people for most of the other people in the world. So you see we make people special in our lives. Inherently they are normal people like everyone in the world with a specific emotional, mental, spiritual level. We give them that special status and then expect them to behave in that special way. They should say those special things to you always. You try extra hard to make them realize how special they are. And then you expect them to acknowledge it everytime. If they don’t because they are in a different state of mind then you start throwing tantrums and then you expect that special person to understand you. What a worthless exercise! We waste our entire lifetimes trying to please people and satisfying our own bloated egos. So, now I promise you I, V, S and A that I will never burden you with my expectations because you guys are special because I made you special in my life. And I have full intentions of keeping this promise unlike my promise of writing regularly. :-)

It has been a good learning time. But the learning was not a pleasant one. Most of them were shocking experiences in my life. Not in my life exactly but you do learn from what happens to lives crisscrossing yours. I have decided to change a few things. Not because it will make me more worthwhile. Because then, maybe it will be easy to deal with the loads of worthlessness within and outside.

One last question to self. Is blogging worth the effort? I don’t know. The day I am sure of the answer, I will quit this world of worthless words.

Bhaiyya bane Saiyyan!

What an eventful last 20 days I had! There are so many things to talk about about what I did last February. It was Prateek’s wedding after all and one of the grandest events we have ever had in the family. Prateek is my first cousin who uses the 25 days difference between our birthdays to suit his convenience! He would become the strict elder brother and would make me touch his feet on Rakhi. Or become the extremely loving one who would want me to be the first one to tie the Rakhi knot. He has been a very special brother and all my love and wishes to Amruta and Prateek. 

There is a lot that can be written about Prateek himself or Amruta herself. I could start with our childhood days and tell you about the danga we created as kids. But then that would be an entire lifetime. I could talk about how they met and how they finally convinced their families to get them married. But that would not make a very juicy post because it was all very simple and without the family drama associated with alliances. I could maybe, start with the grand engagement ceremony we had in Pune a few months back and how these two lovebirds reduced their phone bills from 7K to 1.5K (yes, per month!) after the engagement. I could talk about the arrangements made for the wedding. But again, you know everything about how we marry our kids in India! The arrangements are never short of being mega fanfare and indeed, they were. I could talk about Prateek’s innumerable designer dresses or Amruta’s lehnga. I could talk about how Prateek’s haldi ceremony was an early Holi for others. I could talk about the DJ present in almost every event in the three days and how people were ready to dance at the drop of a hat, with or without music. I could talk endlessly about how Prasan mesmerized everyone with his singing and dancing abilities or how disappointed we all were when Sandeep could not make it to all the major events because of his mid sems. I could talk about some amazing dances by my granny, my mom and my dad’s patang udaana steps! I could devote at least 5 complete posts to my sweet maamis (specially Chamu mami) and their non-veg jokes and serious pranks! I could go on about how amazing Rachana looked almost everyday and what an excellent dancer Apeksha is. I could tell you what we did in 5 completely sleepless nights. I could tell you how we recorded the snores of everyone at night and how we would laugh the entire day broadcasting them. 

I could go on and on and still could not cover those 5 days in a post. What I will do instead, is post the most memorable events I could capture. Believe me people, you don’t need too many things to be happy. A camera and a great family is enough. 

** While the above where the most memorable ones, there were a few moments which tortured..the last video is a sample.. :-)

Love makes Life Live. Really?

No, I won’t regret anything about this day! It is just another routine day and I fail to understand what all the hue and cry is about, why the rate of roses looks like our Sensex turned upside down! Infact, I totally am with Sena (no not the nation’s armed forces, I mean the local forces armed with a moral lathi!) on this issue. All those “celebrating” the Valentine’s Day are a threat to our culture and should be stopped at all costs! They are doing nothing but polluting our, err, moral values!

Sigh! I wish I really believed in all that I just said. I wish I could stop myself from thinking about why after a quarter of century I still find the most beautiful emotion so elusive and out of reach. Why it is that some people keep on being in love, almost incorrigibly and why a few like me assume the famous poker faced, marvelously clueless expression whenever the dhai aakhar of Hindi and four-lettered English word is mentioned! More than that, why some people are loved by so many and why some others (uff! like me again) are never subjected to even a single proposal. I have been wondering about these things of late but another lone V-Day has spurred the writer in me to action.

As I see it now, the best chance I ever had of “falling” in love was in college. Now, for that, you need to do a few things. For one, you should go to the college! In my case, I used to be the benchmark for short attendence. Rohan would remark after missing a couple of classes that “Arey! Anusha ki short nahi hai attendence..I can still miss a few classes for RT!” So you see, I had already lost the edge! And since I never cared about my education, I would lose a little bit of edge everyday. My friends, Vandit and Rohan were extremely kind. They tried to find a match for me - a best fit given my circumstances. The dude was the AB baby (err..please don't rake your brains with the initials..) of our class who was trying to finish his BE in Elex and Instru since I think 1995. :-( Well, my mangal dosh was really bhari on our AB baby and the poor guy flunked the exams yet again. Ek choti si love story shuru hone se pehle khatam! There is another thing you should probably do to get the attention required to be loved! Behave like a girl (if you are a female homo sapien that is!). Umm..in my case, Shant would fear my entry and exit the few times I chose to attended classes. “Bhago Bhai aa gaya” was something very commonly heard whenever I used to pass through corridors! So you see I never was considered an eligible contender when it came to matters of the heart.

I never realized in college that life would become very tough once I am out of it. If you are in a company such as mine, you wonder why God stopped manufacturing decent guys anymore. The few remaining specimens of this type are already married or engaged or even worse, younger than you! The can-be-considered cases cannot be considered because I find many of them have this strange habit of drinking, puking, and then drinking some more until they puke again! I love my mom too much to consider such cases. Even though the fact of the matter is they never thought about me as well. They were busy puking I guess! The remaining of the can-be-considered cases cannot be considered because they have a better choice and are not interested in me! :-(

Ab what to do other than sit in office on yet another 14th of Feb and utilize the “free” time to write another stupid post! I know people will have loads of plans for the day. They will wear the brightest of red color, gift those heart shaped balloons and buy expensive gifts. It must give all those lovebirds a high. I have plans too. :-) I will prepare the design document, attend a call with a firang and wish for everyone in love. And when it is night again, I will go to my bed and wonder with a poker face, clueless expression what love is all about.

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Woody Allen, Love and Death

A new beginning..

First things first - Heartiest New Year wishes to all the readers of this blog. May the New Year ring the right kind of bells in your life and may you wish everything you deserve so that you get everything you wished for!

Another year went by, another new beginning. The New Year celebrations bring memories of two years - 2001 and 2007 - former for the gala celebrations we had in hostel and the second for, well, all the wrong reasons and it is better if I don't delve into it. This time I wanted not to repeat the history of last year's celebrations(?). So I was a bit careful. I had resolved not to hurt people. But my first resolution went for a toss with my efforts to synchronize my limb movement with music - an activity vaguely resembling to what is frequently referred as "dance" in routine parlance. Varsha and Ankita are recuperating and I will convey your "get well soon" wishes to them. 

By the time of writing this post, I had broken all the resolutions I made a week back. So there really isn't much to tell you about them. I had decided to hit the gym with a vengeance - I have not even bothered to step in (Round is a shape, I am in shape!). I had decided to control my emotions while watching ads, movies, plays - but I watched TZP and there went my resolution with a bucket full of tears. And yes the one I could keep for a full week was my resolution not to write blogs. But I just could not stop on the 8th day. And here I am with my year's first post. That reminds me I did a major kand last year. I created another blog and found a new, more torturous and horrendous way of reducing human life expectancy. I created a new blog you can find here - http://anusha-sings.blogspot.com. Now that's torture of the third degree kind! 

But, there are few things I really want to change. One thing is that I want to leave early from office. You see spending extended hours in office is a total wastage of critical resources like electricity, water, caffeine, chairs, server space, bandwidth. We are running short of these IT lifelines anyway. I have been successful till now. Let's see how long I am able to kick myself out of office premises before sunset. Another is to really really think hard and honestly about getting married. Some very important people have been giving me all sorts of reasons in favor of tying the nuptial knot. Mind you, they themselves have not experienced the effects of the same but are quite sure of the benefits. Since then I am trying to convince myself of them and mom has started praying harder. There is no decent Telugu Brahmin teetotaler IT engineer (male variant ;-) ) of average height and build, hailing from a north based family to consider yet, but my family wants me to marry by the time it is time to change the calender! OK ji, lekin ladka kahan hai?? :-O. Sigh! Third, I really want to start my music lessons and I will be highly obliged if anyone can direct me to a Hindustani Classical Music class in Pune. And there are many fourths, fifths etc which I do not remember right now! 

Anyway, this blog is becoming a good place to vent out my frustration. And I am quite sure that this will be put to good use this year. So you can expect more posts than the previous two years. I suggest keep your reading of this site to the minimal. 

And here is something worthwhile I did this weekend. I went to a trek with my brother to Sinhagad. And here are the snaps which I am sure you will like a lot! 

My recent sojourns..

Hi, people! I am back again and this time with a small surprise which you will find at the end of this post. No silly, I am not getting married (yet) and no, don’t think about any fancy thing about my work or workplace either :-)

The last month has seen me traveling a lot. I first went home for Diwali, probably the only time of the year when I cannot make myself stay away from home. And had a very good time back home too, the highlight of the trip being mom made gujiyas. My mother used to have a tough time saving the sweet for our guests when we were kids and she still finds it difficult to save 3kgs of gujiyas for a week. Even though my trip was short (only 3 days), I felt contended. I find it a little funny how easily I am adjusted to the routine there. I start feeling guilty of being late if I don’t take my bath by 8-30 (A.M of course!). While I don’t even bother to get up by that time in Pune. And I feel so happy going back to the place where I have grown up, seen many ups and downs of life, had some strategic spots of my home as my secret hideaways. Usually, when I go home, all I prefer to have is saaf-suthara ghar-ka-khana. This time, I got a chance to go to Indian Coffee House with my mom to have veg-cutlets. It was pure joy to see my mom enjoying it like a kid. We even took a second helping, which is a very rare thing in my family. And I can safely say that they still serve the best and the biggest cutlets! Clap Clap! 

The best thing to have happened was my chance meeting with a schoolteacher of St. Mary’s. I left that school when I was in 6th Standard. Pratibha madam is considered one of the best in that school. And I remember her very fondly because she covered me with her shawl when I was feeling very cold playing the role of a pandit in a fancy dress competition. It was January and I was in class 3rd then. It was understandable that she could not remember me but nonetheless I could see that it was an emotional moment for her. 

I came back to Pune couple of days after Diwali. And after 4 days, I was traveling again to Bhopal. This time to attend a cousin’s marriage in Faridabad. I was to join my mom, dad and grandmother in Bhopal and we were off on my favorite train – Tamil Nadu express. I had almost lost faith in the sleeper coaches of Indian Railways when Tamil Nadu express, with its excellent cushioned berths and cleanliness salvaged the pride. 

Before going to Faridabad, we had a couple of days with us and we had planned to visit Hardwar and Hrishikesh. Though I don’t claim myself to be a very religious person, I was still mystified with the charm and attraction of Ganges. I was a little wary of going into the waters, but I simply could not stop myself once I was in Hardwar. And the beautiful Ganga aarti in the evening is a site worth watching a thousand times. It seems the whole city gathers and joins Anuradha Paudwal’s rendition of Ganga aarti..

Hrishikesh is a small beautiful city in the Siwalik range, foothills of Himalayas. Though, we were going from one temple to another, I was particularly attracted by a small German café situated beautifully at one end of the famous Lakshman jhoola overlooking the Ganga. I just wanted to sit there with a cup of coffee and a book and forget the world. I wish I could do that someday.

We finally came to Faridabad for the wedding. The marriage was as all marriages are supposed to be. Many rituals, then eating, some more rituals and some more eating – that’s Indian marriage for you. Well there was lot of naach gaana as well one day before the marriage and I won’t tell you how much I tortured the junta there with my err..dance (? Was it dance?? :-O ). Though there were no injuries reported, I understand the damage was mental than physical.

I tortured further and I can show you the evidence too. And that, by the way, is the surprise I talked about in the beginning of this post. Just play this small piece and you would know what I mean.

girish marriage - ...

And if you have heard this, let me tell you that the female you hear shouting on top of her voice is yours truly. I don’t like displaying my talents publicly and I still don’t. This is displayed because there is no question of talent here. :-| 

But please don’t stop reading my posts because of the surprise. I promise I won’t post such scary things again. :-)

Thoughts of a Music maniac

For someone who has been hearing music since childhood, hearing these “talent hunt” err reality shows a bit more seriously than required comes only naturally. I am a big time music buff and have heard and appreciated all kinds of Indian music from Hindustani classical, Carnatic Classical to apna Bollywood, ghazals – you name it and I have appreciated it. 

Something has been hurting me a lot since the ouster of some of my favorite participants in these shows. And the reason for their failure is the great voting system of India. We never took voting of politicians very seriously, how we are expected to take the selection of a winner of a talent hunt show seriously is beyond my understanding. Well that would not have hurt me much either but there is another thing bothering me. And that is the expectations from the winners of these shows. They are expected to do playback singing and this is what that bothers me the most. I have followed Star Voice of India and Zee Sa Re Ga Ma Pa very closely – the former only because of one singer – Mohammad Toshi Sabri. I think he is the real find this season. I request you all please hear him once. Specially, Teri Deewani, Piya re, Main jahan rahoon, Allah Hu, Mera piya ghar aaya…You can listen to all his renditions here http://starvoiceofindiashow.com/category/toshi/

We have been conditioned so much to hear Bollywood music that we think that is the only kind of music or the only real music. There are many who have commented that Toshi can sing only a particular genre of music. But they conveniently forget that his genre is the original and the most difficult one (though I do not think that he did a bad job with other genres). 

Let me talk about the Bollywood music first. Bollywood music has not been great always. There was a golden era in the 60's-70's when songs regularly used to be semi classical based rendered beautifully by Lata ji, Manna Dey saab, Md Rafi saab and the likes who were classically trained. This was the time when Hindi cinema music did more progress than the movies we were churning..The music was way more mature. Listen to Kuhu kuhu Bole Koyalia, Jyoti Kalash Chalake, Maayi ri Main ka se kahun peer, Madhuban mein radhika naache re, Laga chunari mein daag, Poocho na kaise maine, all the songs of Baiju bawara and the list is very very long. These songs are still considered standard for anyone aspiring to sing without the guidance of a teacher. There were some emotional numbers like Din Dhal jaaye, yeh raat yeh chandani fir kahan, Rahe na rahe hum, waqt ne kiya and I know this list is probably bigger than the earlier one. For those who have heard a lot of classical music, these songs will always remain in a very high esteem.

Then came the era of Mr Kishore Kumar who had a strong power packed voice but who was not trained. But he gave some beautiful numbers and a long and never-ending list of imitators and I cannot help but put Harshit (he will be crowned VOI) in that list. And unless he develops his own unique style, he will not go much ahead.

After Kishore Kumar, there has been a general degradation in the kind of songs being made except an occasional brilliance here and there. There has been a revival of sorts of late in the music of SEL, AR Rehman saab, Vishal Bharadwaj, Pritam and to a certain extent HR (when he prefers to use the voice of other singers)

But is Bollywood music the only kind of music in India? No definitely not. But it is the most easily accessible music for the masses. But IMHO, classical music (Hindustani as well as Carnatic) is still the best and most refined form of music and will always remain so. Ghazal, qawalli, sufi, bhajan all have their roots in the ancient classical music. And it is unfortuante that there are more listeners of Kumar Sanu than Pt. Kumar Gandharva, Pt Bhimsen Joshi ji or Pt Jasraj ji. 

But let us face it. Playback singing is more about making your voice suit to a certain situation to a certain person. The aim of any movie is to reach out to the masses and thus in the process generate revenue for the producers. These talent hunt shows have succeeded in generating high TRP and money but they have failed miserably in giving genuine singers. Only 3 singers have really made a mark in the last 15 yrs. Reason? There can never be so many playback singers as these talent hunt shows generate because the existing ones are doing everything for the producers and music directors. So I will remain skeptical about the future (?) of the winner of these shows in Bollywood singing. 

But we do need many more singers that are classically trained in the future. I doubt that the "filmy" music in this age of "dard-e-disco" will ever give us easy to grasp classical music as it did once. We need singers who can do that independently and I wish Toshi would do it. I won't mind if he does not get a chance to playback for SRK..but I will be only happy to see him doing it in his private albums and live shows.

The voting system has become a necessary evil. Gajji and others cannot live without it now. And singers like Toshi will keep on loosing to this system not once but twice because there will be fewer who would really understand that. How I wish somone starts a classical talent hunt show (sans voting system). Any takers for the show? More than that, any producer having guts to launch such a show?

A long post but then I was too involved to stop myself. I welcome your thoughts on this.

Meri kahaani, blog ki zubaani

Ah! Honestly, people, it takes a lot of effort to make myself write. But the problem is I am not able to stop myself once I get into it. So what am I thinking about today? 

I read a beautiful line somewhere. “Never take life too seriously. Nobody comes out of it alive anyway!” So you see, we spend our entire lives dodging the inevitable but one fine day you finally face the thing that has been chasing you since the day you were born and then you are free to sleep without any interruption from the mobile alarm (2 mobiles if you are on IT support) or your maidservant or doodhwala. Well, I have successfully dodged the inevitable for another year in this lifetime. Also, this happens to be a very special year because I will be completing a quarter of a century and I expect to achieve the quarter feat at least three more times.

But then this makes me think about my life so far. Has it been good? Have I done any justice to it? Have I been a good daughter (umm…interesting question!), a good sister (well, this is the best I could be to him), a good friend (no comments!), a good student (definitely not!), a good professional (hehe..you gotta be kidding)? 

Okay! It all started when I troubled my mom for the first time by disturbing her sleep on a reasonably cold night. Octobers are cold in Bhopal, at least they used to be a quarter century back. I have mentioned in my earlier posts that I am a lazy person and I was too lazy to even born. My parents were waiting for me for a complete week. They thought that I would remain in my mom’s womb for the rest of my life. But I finally decided to open my eyes to this beautiful world. I am told that my dad was in tears when he saw me for the first time. I hope it was because of euphoria and not because of a rude shock! :-D Well there are many legends surrounding my birth. One was that my dad was in tears, another one being I used to look like a chipkali (many believe I still do!) and the most sensational and popular one being that I was picked up from a naali. :-| Why do all the parents in this world have to crack that pathetic joke! I will never do it to my kids (or maybe I would. it is a nice way to annoy them! :-D). 

And since then it has been a journey. Sometimes I had company, at other times I was alone. Sometimes I wished I had company, at other times I wished I were left alone. Some people made my life look ordinary; some others made mine extra ordinary. There were moments when the entire world seemed to be at my feet; and then there were moments when I was brought down to my feet. There were days when I could relax (the entire semester would be time to relax and idle) and then there were those that made me work like a donkey (it happens a lot in IT). There have been people who trusted me and then there were those who broke my faith. Some were funny; some made me look funny. It has indeed been a mixed bag and maybe that is how life should be. Of all the good and bad things that have happened, I think this life has been worth living for. :-) 

After living for such a long time, I still don’t know what is that one thing that is waiting for me. I still don’t know what I want to be, where I want to be. Recently a friend questioned on his blog – how many of us start with a single most aim and work towards it till the end? Well, there might be some who do, but I do not fall in that category. I achieved some unexpected things at times and failed miserably at others. But did I learn my lessons? Umm.. I think yes. I might be adamant at times to accept and follow them, but I have learnt them, definitely. My life has followed the path in the following lines..

Apni marzi se kahan apne safar ke hum hain…

Rukh hawaaon ka jidhar ka hai, udhar ke hum hain..

I have no regrets, though, I would try not to make the same mistakes again. And life has been kind to me to give me some important support systems throughout – my parents, my brother and some extremely good friends. 

And special mention about two very special people who have taught me the ways of living. I would have been a very different person without these two and I want to say THANK YOU. One will definitely read this and the other most probably will not! 

So wish me a very happy birthday, pray for me and just come down to Pune for a party!

Mushkil kaam hai Bhaiyya

Maintaining this blog is becoming difficult by the day now. I don't get a clue what I should write about. A friend asked me to comment on India's T20 World Cup win. I thought, finally! I have something to write about. But before I could finish up the post, India was already 2 down against the mighty Aussies..So I thought, I will write about the way the Indian Cricket team swings and how unjustified it is to give them the status of Demi-Gods. But before I could finish that one, India pulled a heroic win against the World Champs in the Chandigarh match. So the Indian Cricket team needs to perform consistently so that I am able to write something on this useless server space. 

I also thought writing something about the musical shows - Star Voice of India and SaReGaMaPa. Specially, the oust of Toshi from Star Voice of India. But before I could do anything on that, Toshi was brought back by the TRP boosting Wild Card round. Also, this site http://starvoiceofindiashow.com/ has everything about this show and yes you can even hear the videos. (Do check out Toshi's performances in this show..) I thought I would compare SVOI and SRGMP but Poonam's and Amanat's recent performances on SRGMP has removed all the doubts I had about which is the better show. I am however, planning to compile some performances which I consider to be this season's best. But you gotta wait for that.

In the end, there's nothing I had to write about. But, then I wrote a comment on a friend's blog and I thought I will post it in my blog. All I could manage to write was this..

Manzil apni, raaste paraaye,

teri raah poochti woh hawaaein,

kabhi hote the apne bhi afsaane,

aaj gumnaami ke andhere saaye..

samjhana kya, dil jaanta hai,

har safar tanha hi kat ta hai,

koi tanhai mein mehfil dhoondhta hai,

koi mehfil mein tanha ho jata hai..

Btw, I want to thank my friend for the above lines. Words from my keypad, inspiration comes from her blog.. :-) Without her, today would have been another postless day..

Jana Gana Mana

A beautiful rendition of the National Anthem by the country's best performers. 

It brought tears to my eyes alright. Agreed, I cry a lot. Any thing which claims to be emotional, (for eg, seemingly innocuous "Lifebouy's maa ka ladoo" ad), brings floods of NaCl to my eyes. But this album is very very special. The last time I remember seeing all the legends singing together was the unmatchable, unforgettable "Mile Sur Mera Tumhara". I consider it a blessing to be able to hear the voices of Pt Bhimsen Joshi and D K Pattammal. For those who are far far away from Carnatic Classical (and also happen to read this blog), D K Pattammal is the contemporary of M S Subbulakshmi. These two and M. L. Vasanthakumari are popularly referred to as the "female trinity of Carnatic Music". Now if you don't know who M S Subbulakshmi is, please take a glass of water and drown yourself there! Before you do that, get a copy of Bhaja Govindam (by M S Subbulakshmi) from the nearest music store and hear it. Maybe you will get a life. 

Now I know that the National Anthem was not originally written for our nation. The controversy says that Shri Ravindra Nath Tagore wrote it in honor of visiting monarch George V. Another motivation for writing this was reported in the Indian Express in 1968 where a disciple was quoted as:

"He (Tagore) got up very early in the morning and wrote a very beautiful poem.... When he came down, he said to one of us, 'Here is a poem which I have written. It is addressed to God, but give it to Congress people. It will please them."

In a letter to Pulin Behari Sen, Tagore himself wrote:

"A certain high official in His Majesty's service, who was also my friend, had requested that I write a song of felicitation towards the Emperor. The request simply amazed me. It caused a great stir in my heart. In response to that great mental turmoil, I pronounced the victory in Jana Gana Mana of that Bhagya Vidhata [ed. God of Destiny] of India who has from age after age held steadfast the reins of India's chariot through rise and fall, through the straight path and the curved. That Lord of Destiny, that Reader of the Collective Mind of India, that Perennial Guide, could never be George V, George VI, or any other George. Even my official friend understood this about the song. After all, even if his admiration for the crown was excessive, he was not lacking in simple common sense."

Read Wikipedia for more. 

Controversies apart, we have symbolized it to be our nation's anthem. I have been singing it right from my first day in school. It was the first song I ever played on my synthesizer/harmonium/guitar. Maybe a mistake (I personally think Vande Mataram was always a better option). But Pt Nehru's logic that Vande Mataram would be difficult for the band to play has been definitely proved wrong if this new album is anything to go by! Well difficulty is not in playing the tune because people find it so difficult to sing Jana Gana Mana also and the reason is not always the lack of ability to sing. Forget singing, I have seen people running around and looking for their seats when it is played in the multiplexes. They find it very difficult to stand for 52 seconds, expecting them to sing is probably asking for the moon. But this album shows what musical accomplishment these women and men of India have achieved. And these legends arouse that rare feeling of genuine patriotism in you. And all of it when most of these singers and musicians are well past their prime (they are still better than the younger lot!). Thank you Rahman saab. It is a gem.

An inspiring album. You can hear it here.

Would love to know your thoughts on this. :-)